My brother and I are only separated by a year-and-a-half. My mother loves to remind me that it was my brother who often served as my spokesman when we were little, he somehow could read my mind. It was my brother who coaxed me into doing things, well, let's say that would provoke my parents just a little. But, it was my brother whose solo heroism pulled me up out of the hot tub and saved my life as I was drowning.
While in our teenage years we began to grow apart as our interests no longer seemed to collide. I was interested in becoming a Boy Scout and immersing myself into that life. My brother, perhaps more typically hormonal, was interested in girls and cars. I learned how to play by myself and I explored a new world of imagination and creativity, but I knew I was alone more and more. Somehow that seemingly lonely world was busy with games and escapades that kept me very active. My brother used to pick on me about my weight as kid--he was literally thin as a stick and I was not.
The college years changed everything. To everyone's surprise (mine too), I chose to attend the same college as my brother. My last two years of high school were blissful, I had the house and my parents all to myself, and now I wanted to change everything. My brother was in his junior year as I began as a freshman. He was of legal drinking age and I was not--you see where this is going. We quickly rekindled our bonds of affection and I also became very good friends with his friends! I ended up having more upperclassmen friends than those in my own class, a mistake that would later hurt. College was fun and it was fun because I had the opportunity to share two years of it with my brother. The campus world dramatically changed following his graduation, I truly missed him.
Now in our young adult years, my brother and I continue to grow in our relationship. He tends to be a better communicator than I am, he constantly calls me and my parents. My brother is the one that comes up with the creative gift ideas for Mother's/Father's day. Though now, the weight has been reversed and I am guilty of a few jabs to exact my revenge (and I say it all in the most Christian way possible!). My brother is the one who never lets me go off into my own world of depression and self-pity; it is my brother who has saved my life on more than one occasion.
God as my brother? Related by blood? Would God call me fat? Would God purchase beer for me as a college freshman? Would God annoyingly call and check in with me whenever I was at a low point in my life?
The thought that keeps emerging is the parallel between my brother's relationship and my relationship with God. God does serve as our ultimate spokesman and God gives us the sort of curiosity that would lead a 13 year old to play with firecrackers. I feel extremely fortunate to have the present relationship with my brother. Though it's not often perfect, but I find that my brother is often much more forgiving than I am and he seems willing to hang in there no matter what. My brother is without exception an old-school romantic, searching the horizon for the perfect sunset. I envy that in him as well as his genuine goodness.
So the parallel: my brother and I were close, grew apart, and then grew close again and continue to develop a mature brotherly relationship. With God lies the same pattern. Does God will the separation? No. Does God give us the tools we need to survive alone and help us find our way back? Yes.
I struggle a little with this imagery of God as Sibling, not because I don't have a saint-like brother, but because I know I have to expand the many faces that God lives. I can and do see the image, though it's not one that seems to wrench my heart like the others. What do you think?
